Just to Complicate Matters a Little Further...

Ever had a small bowel obstruction? This is probably not the worst pain in the world, but I'm fairly certain that it's right up there close to the worst.  Anyway, I know that I have never experienced anything more excruciating than that.  When the E.R. Doc at Baylor told me 4-5 weeks ago that I had an obstruction, I was basically a babe in the woods--didn't know the first thing about this problem, what caused it, how it was fixed, etc. Of course, being something of the accomplished hypochondriac, I immediately ascribed the whole thing to my cancer condition.  Turns out, there's no obvious correlation between the two and just about anyone can get obstructed. 

The possible cures, though, weren't too pleasant to contemplate: First, I could have abdominal surgery and have some brave soul with a knife try to straighten up the problem, but because of prior surgeries, it isn't entirely clear where all my innards currently reside and the docs respectfully told me they weren't cutting into that mess!  Second, they could try gastric intubation--an NG tube--to clear the obstruction that way...a little better, but dangerous on several levels and uncomfortable on all levels.  Or third, the physician's favorite, "bowel rest" and "watchful waiting."  What this translates to is no food or drink of any kind for 24 hours or more and "we'll see what happens." (I was allowed to suck on ice chips as a concession to stop my pitiful whining, though!)    Luckily for me, the obstruction wasn't complete or permanent (I apparently hadn't swallowed a cue ball) and option three worked fairly well.  After four days in the hospital (and 10 lbs. weight loss), I was on the road to recovery. 

When the doc came to discharge me, I asked how I might know if I developed this problem again...and he just stared at me like I was an idiot. 

"Well," he said "you'll start feeling the same pain over again and then you'll start vomitting uncontrollably."

"So," says I, the rocket scientist, "I'll feel the same symptoms as before?"

"Yep," says remarkably patient doctor.

"No other warnings? No red flags? Nothing?"

"Except for the pain and vomitting..." says the doctor.

"Hmmmm.." says the rocket scientist. "You don't have a better answer than that?"

"Nope," he says.  Then he smiles (a bit too slyly, if you ask me), wishes me good luck, and leaves.

So now, the hypochondriac in me has another thing to watch out for...